i've known quite a few guys in my lifetime. not that i dated a lot of them but here are the few types which i've encountered:
- the shy guy: he fancies you a lot but you don't even know why. he writes you love letters, terrible poems that don't rhyme, he conveys his feelings for you by talking to a friend of your friend and by sending you intense looks. the moment you walk up to him for a chat he turns red, shuffles his feet, starts sweating. you're touched by his sensitivity but have trouble fancying him coz his hands are always so clammy and conversations tend to end in awkward silences. also you can't help finding it all a bit stalker-like and way too intense. you try to break the news gently but end up hurting his feelings just the same.
- the perv: his idea of compliments is telling you how much he loves your boobs and your ass and how your curves turn him on. he relates to you his fantasies and expects you to relate back yours. he wants to date you so he can take you to bed. romance is not part of his vocabulary or culture. he's single-minded in his quest for physical satisfaction. you may feel flattered by the fact that he finds you so hot but in the end you tell him to buy himself some nice porn videos and magazines and leave you alone.
- the lover boy: he's cute and he knows it. he smiles a lot, knows what to say, makes you laugh, flirts continuously. he's completely at ease with girls and it shows. all your friends envy you for getting his attention. you feel slightly superior in his company coz you know that he's a catch. however his charm is often skin-deep. when you scratch below the surface you find yourself staring at a void. his face is pretty but his brain is empty! you feel a bit embarrassed coz you don't know how to back out anymore. it doesn't feel right. he was supposed to be the guy you've been dreaming of but now that you've got him you want to give him back. you wait till the next girl catches his eye and quietly slip away.
- the geek: he's smart, is always raising his hand in class, speaks a language you don't understand and has always done all his homework. he seeks to impress you with his IQ. he's so confident that he cannot fathom that you will turn him down. he's thought about it so thoroughly, studied the pros and cons, worked out the perfect timing and strategy. he's probably even documented it and filed it before speaking to you the first time. you attempt a conversation but end up listening to his display of intelligence. you make a joke but he turns it into a debate. you go on a date but it turns out into a guided tour. you're so bored you want to cry. you switch off and nod intermittently and he doesn't even notice that you're not there anymore. the day you tell him that you don't want to see him anymore he calls you a snob and tells all his friends that you're a bitch. you just move on, happy to have escaped a lifetime of suffocation.
- the bad guy: just the kind that you know you should avoid and just the kind for whom you fall line, hook and sinker. his motto is that he doesn't give a damn. about anything. studies, reputation, proper language, gentleman attitude. he's a rebel. he dresses the way he wants, chews gum in class, carries no school bag, wears black boots instead of sports shoes, untucked shirt and doesn't shave everyday. he smells of all things forbidden. cigarettes, adult aftershave, danger. you try to reason your way through it, to remember that you're a sensible, intelligent girl who can resist anything but yet you find yourself falling for him everyday. you believe it's just an image, that deep down he must be hiding a well of sensitivity and honest feelings. that he is protecting himself. you end up heartbroken.
- the friend: he is the one to whom you confide everything, to whom you rush for advice, to whom you ask all the things you want to know about guys while knowing that he will not use it against you. you trust him completely. he's almost like a girlfriend but he knows stuff that only guys know. he's is your encyclopedia about all things male. you share lots of jokes, laugh spontaneously, tell him about your hopes, dreams and heartbreaks. he gives you advice but allows you to make your own choices. he cares for you deeply but is not possessive. one day you find out that you're in love with each other and neither of you realised it. you either end up breaking off the relationship coz you can't cope with its new meaning or you end up married :)
Saturday, February 13, 2010
little virgo
my son's a virgo. now i'm a scorpio and i tend to believe in horoscopes. not the daily kind where you check your horoscope before deciding what colour of clothes to wear or at what time to drink your first cup of tea, etc. but the kind where you categorise people according to some common characteristics and you match them based on these so-called affinities. i find this fun and although i know it's completely irrational i actually believe that it holds some truth.
they say virgos tend to be clinical, obsessed with details, extremely tidy, addicted to routines, etc. you get the picture. boring, boring, boring. accountant-like. as a scorpio i'm tagged as being completely different. passionnate, emotional, exuberant, strong-willed, jealous and all.
now i used to date a virgo and to be honest it was a shock to the system. the thing that i remember most is his wish to control everything. he had to always be the one to make the first move, always the one to break off first. he spent very little time listening to what i had to say but always expected me to follow with his plans. he had a spontaneous side that fooled me into thinking that he was exciting. he would call me suddenly around 9pm when i was already in my pyjamas and ready for a quiet tv night and tell me to get ready and to wait for him outside, that he would be picking me up to go to some secret place. now i loved that. mystery, spontaneity, the prospect of a romantic or passionate evening under the stars. the only problem is that i would indeed find myself staring at clear skies and stars in often very remote locations but without anything else happening. no conversation, no passion, no chemistry. that was quite disconcerting in the long run and these little escapades starting feeling more like chores than excitement and in the end we broke up. the most disturbing is that he was extremely handsome, classically so. the kind of guy whom you fancy from a distance and never get the courage to speak to. yet he was so cold and calculating. it's like he could never let go and just enjoy the moment. everything had to be thought of before. arrgh!
anyway since i had no say in the horoscope under which my son was born i decided that i must do everything to beat the stars. the plan is to show him the lighter side of life from the beginning. although if he develops a sense of tidiness and discipline i will certainly not complain, i will try not to allow him to take it to an extreme. i'd like to teach him the joys of being spontaneous and generous in the way he expresses himself. to laugh without thinking, to love without holding back, to live without fearing. but perhaps his virgo side will bring the kind of balance he needs to not go into the kind of extremes which i tend to go into.
yes i know i sound obsessive in the way i believe that i can actually shape him into the kind of person i'd like him to be. but i think that either way kids are influenced by us and they do tend to grow based on the kind of values we give them. so why ignore that? instead i prefer to choose the things i'd like to convey to him vs the things i'll try to exclude. of course in the end he will become someone that's completely unique and that's outside my control. but nothing stops me from giving what i feel is right. the rest as we say will one day be history.
they say virgos tend to be clinical, obsessed with details, extremely tidy, addicted to routines, etc. you get the picture. boring, boring, boring. accountant-like. as a scorpio i'm tagged as being completely different. passionnate, emotional, exuberant, strong-willed, jealous and all.
now i used to date a virgo and to be honest it was a shock to the system. the thing that i remember most is his wish to control everything. he had to always be the one to make the first move, always the one to break off first. he spent very little time listening to what i had to say but always expected me to follow with his plans. he had a spontaneous side that fooled me into thinking that he was exciting. he would call me suddenly around 9pm when i was already in my pyjamas and ready for a quiet tv night and tell me to get ready and to wait for him outside, that he would be picking me up to go to some secret place. now i loved that. mystery, spontaneity, the prospect of a romantic or passionate evening under the stars. the only problem is that i would indeed find myself staring at clear skies and stars in often very remote locations but without anything else happening. no conversation, no passion, no chemistry. that was quite disconcerting in the long run and these little escapades starting feeling more like chores than excitement and in the end we broke up. the most disturbing is that he was extremely handsome, classically so. the kind of guy whom you fancy from a distance and never get the courage to speak to. yet he was so cold and calculating. it's like he could never let go and just enjoy the moment. everything had to be thought of before. arrgh!
anyway since i had no say in the horoscope under which my son was born i decided that i must do everything to beat the stars. the plan is to show him the lighter side of life from the beginning. although if he develops a sense of tidiness and discipline i will certainly not complain, i will try not to allow him to take it to an extreme. i'd like to teach him the joys of being spontaneous and generous in the way he expresses himself. to laugh without thinking, to love without holding back, to live without fearing. but perhaps his virgo side will bring the kind of balance he needs to not go into the kind of extremes which i tend to go into.
yes i know i sound obsessive in the way i believe that i can actually shape him into the kind of person i'd like him to be. but i think that either way kids are influenced by us and they do tend to grow based on the kind of values we give them. so why ignore that? instead i prefer to choose the things i'd like to convey to him vs the things i'll try to exclude. of course in the end he will become someone that's completely unique and that's outside my control. but nothing stops me from giving what i feel is right. the rest as we say will one day be history.
mother to son
to my five-month old son...
i wanted a child but never expected it to feel this way. from the moment you were born you changed me completely. in the beginning your screams, your frustration and your pain scared me like never before. i understood then the meaning of the world vulnerable. to hold a life in my hands and not to know what to do with it. to have the responsibility of raising a new person and not to know where to begin.
then came your smiles and life took a new meaning. i didn't know i could mean so much to someone. you saved your best smiles for me and i looked forward to that moment each day. from the moment you wake up every morning or when i step into a room, you illuminate me with that special spontaneous smile but more so with that intense look that says: you're my mommy and you're the one i've been waiting to see all day. did i expect the love to be so intense? did i know that i would feel this sense of purpose and belonging so strongly? nope - i never knew it would be this way.
as you grow up every day i wish for so many things. i want to be able to give you my strength, my intelligence, my special ability to understand others. however i desperately wish that you will not inherit my weaknesses and shortcomings. my dependence on others, my oversensitivity, my tendency to fall into depression whenever i feel hurt or neglected and my addictions. i want you to grow up with a smile on your face and a spring in your step. i want you to know that you are loved - unconditionally - and for this love to help you overcome all obstacles. i wish that you will grow up to be a strong, caring human being who knows what he wants and who works towards getting it. someone who is not scared by obstacles but rather challenged by them. someone who is able to give love and to receive it without turning it into a perverse thing. a man who inspires others and whom people want to be with. i want you to find love. the true kind. the one that lasts and that makes you want to wake up every morning just to live another day with your loved one. the kind that is loyal and that satisfies your every need.
i know life will not be always kind to you but i pray that it will never break you but only make you stronger.
you're my treasure, my miracle, my gift from God. i'm still learning to break my old habits and free myself from my old chains in order to be the mother you deserve. it's harder than i thought and is taking more time that i would like. but i hope that the love i feel for you will be the only thing that you will remember. you are so breathtakingly beautiful, you have the most wonderful laugh and i can already see that you're your own little person. not just an extension of us. my only wish and prayer is that you stay like this. never lose that laugh, never lose your individuality and never lose your appetite for life.
i'm not perfect and i hope that my mistakes will not penalise you. i also hope that should you suffer from some of those mistakes that you will one day forgive me and move on.
i love you my son. more than anyone, more than anything. that's a mother's prerogative. and i want you to always know that you have that kind of love. from the moment you were born and for every single day that you will live. no matter where i will be this love will be yours.
i wanted a child but never expected it to feel this way. from the moment you were born you changed me completely. in the beginning your screams, your frustration and your pain scared me like never before. i understood then the meaning of the world vulnerable. to hold a life in my hands and not to know what to do with it. to have the responsibility of raising a new person and not to know where to begin.
then came your smiles and life took a new meaning. i didn't know i could mean so much to someone. you saved your best smiles for me and i looked forward to that moment each day. from the moment you wake up every morning or when i step into a room, you illuminate me with that special spontaneous smile but more so with that intense look that says: you're my mommy and you're the one i've been waiting to see all day. did i expect the love to be so intense? did i know that i would feel this sense of purpose and belonging so strongly? nope - i never knew it would be this way.
as you grow up every day i wish for so many things. i want to be able to give you my strength, my intelligence, my special ability to understand others. however i desperately wish that you will not inherit my weaknesses and shortcomings. my dependence on others, my oversensitivity, my tendency to fall into depression whenever i feel hurt or neglected and my addictions. i want you to grow up with a smile on your face and a spring in your step. i want you to know that you are loved - unconditionally - and for this love to help you overcome all obstacles. i wish that you will grow up to be a strong, caring human being who knows what he wants and who works towards getting it. someone who is not scared by obstacles but rather challenged by them. someone who is able to give love and to receive it without turning it into a perverse thing. a man who inspires others and whom people want to be with. i want you to find love. the true kind. the one that lasts and that makes you want to wake up every morning just to live another day with your loved one. the kind that is loyal and that satisfies your every need.
i know life will not be always kind to you but i pray that it will never break you but only make you stronger.
you're my treasure, my miracle, my gift from God. i'm still learning to break my old habits and free myself from my old chains in order to be the mother you deserve. it's harder than i thought and is taking more time that i would like. but i hope that the love i feel for you will be the only thing that you will remember. you are so breathtakingly beautiful, you have the most wonderful laugh and i can already see that you're your own little person. not just an extension of us. my only wish and prayer is that you stay like this. never lose that laugh, never lose your individuality and never lose your appetite for life.
i'm not perfect and i hope that my mistakes will not penalise you. i also hope that should you suffer from some of those mistakes that you will one day forgive me and move on.
i love you my son. more than anyone, more than anything. that's a mother's prerogative. and i want you to always know that you have that kind of love. from the moment you were born and for every single day that you will live. no matter where i will be this love will be yours.
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